Adventures in Food Catastrophe

In my introductory post, I said I would write about falling on my ass while making food, knowing that it would inevitably happen. I had planned to make a post with an easy risotto recipe, but this is more epic and takes precedent. So, I give you:

What Not To Do With...

Tomatillos

An Onion

Eggs, Chopped Basil, Butter, and Olive Oil

Begin by watching chefs chop things up on TV. Note that they work much, much, much faster than you do. Decide that you could stand to work a little bit faster, even though you wouldn't be that fast.

Next, slice open the top of your thumb.

Cover it with a paper towel so you can continue cooking while bleeding

A side note...I have never had tomatillos before and they are really, really tasty! I had a few slices raw, and I could eat them like that all day. But, back to the recipe for disaster:

CHOP. UP. THIS. ONION.

Chop up peppers of I forget what variety but they start with 's'. No, not serranos. Another kind. Take two tablespoons of butter and a splash of olive oil and heat it in a pan on medium heat. Crack four eggs. Throw in the onions once the butter is melted and set a timer for eight minutes. Two minutes into that, throw in the tomatillos. Wait another two minutes and add the peppers.

Notice that's nothing's browning like it should be. Cook for about thirteen minutes total and add the eggs. Scramble the fuck out of the entire mess and let cook for two more minutes. End up with this:

 If I'm honest, it tasted decent. Not feed it to somebody else decent, but...I made this, need breakfast, and don't feel the need to add ketchup decent. The tomatillos add a lot of flavor, and I look forward to more successful experiments with them in the future.